It's the Night Before Christmas

and so much is going through my mind. 

What an eventful year this has been.  Both of our sons are now engaged to be married to wonderful young women.  Work has seen lots of changes for both of us.  I have had some truths brought home to me.  And mostly, I have rediscovered a faith that has laid dormant for many years.

That brings me to this day 2000 years ago.  Do you think that Mary or Joseph knew what changes that they would bring to the world?  Do you think Mary knew the joy and heart-ache that she would have as she gave birth to the Saviour?  Do you think Joseph knew that the Son he was raising would grow to be such a fine young man - the One who was to save the world?

As a mother of 2 sons - I have realized the love, joy and heart-ache that must have gone through Mary's mind and heart.  You may love your spouse and family, but the love of a child is all encompassing and totally different.  A friend of mine who is pregnant with her second child described it best to her young daughter - who thought mommy wouldn't love her as much when the new baby arrived.  She explained to her little girl that mommy and daddy's heart doesn't stop loving her to love the new baby - it grows ever bigger to love the new one and that the love for her would never end.  Quite fitting in this season.

This next year holds many more changes for the Cross Crew as we are collectively know.  Importantly among all of this is that our children - who have grown up to be young men - will take the next step into adulthood - marrying the young ladies who they feel is the one that God has for them.  It is an interesting journey, one that I am enjoying bittersweetly.  I love my sons, I love my new daughters, but there are days I long for "the boys" to run to me and give me sweet, sweaty hugs and tell me that they love me.  I hope that they have that experience that with their children as well.

I think that Mary did know what was happening as all mothers do.  That she would see her son grow, love and lead the world.  As a mother, I have had the pleasure of watching my son's grow and love as well. 
My thoughts are many, my joys are many and my wishes for you my friends - is that you have a blessed Christmas and a Joyous New Year.

Love,
Forever and A Day


Mary did you know, That your baby boy, Would one day walk on water?
Did you know that your baby boy would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you've delivered, will soon deliver you.

Mary did you know, that your baby boy would give sight to a blind man?
Did you know that your baby boy, would calm a storm with his hands?
Did you know that your baby boy , has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little baby, you've kissed the face of God.

Oh Mary did you know---

The blind will see, the deaf will hear, and the dead will live again.
The lame will leap, the dumb will speak, the praises of the lamb---.

Mary did you know, that your baby boy, is Lord of all creation?
Did you know that your baby boy, would one day rule the nation?
Did you know, that your baby boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
This sleeping child you're holding, is the great--, I--- AM

                     "Mary Did You Know" song by Mark Lowry

Silent Night, Holy Night

all is calm, all is bright....

Yesterday morning I was up and outside early.  It was still dark, people were not moving around and even the squirrels seemed to be sleeping in.  I went out to get the newspapers to read with my morning coffee - and what did I see at that early time - stars.  Thousands (well, maybe hundreds) of stars, shining and twinkling.

This made me stop for a moment (yes, me in my robe and flip flops) on the driveway, admiring the early morning sky and think of the wonder of it all.  To think that 2000 years ago, God chose a simple girl and boy to be the earthly parents of our Saviour. 

I think we tend to get caught up in the moment and at times forget what the season is about - celebration of a very special birth.  This should be our time of reflection, praise and family.  To reflect on what has taken place over the past year (or years), praise for our blessing and remembering that our family is our family - both immediate and extended.

One of the online Facebook applications is "On This Day, God Wants You To Know" and this was the thought that was chosen for me "... that most of your words are unnecessary. All too often you speak simply to fill the space with sound, because you feel too uncomfortable with the silence. But this silence is golden. Only in silence you can hear God speak to you. Only in silence can a real prayer, a heart prayer be born. Next time you start chattering, stop and feel into the silence, feel its shape, its texture, and then slowly and silently say only what really has to be said."

So - to each and every one of my family, take a moment to be silent, to listen to God speaking to you, to reflect upon the season, even waking up early to see the wonderous stars above - and to listen to the stars sing of the wonders of God.

Love, forever and a day

Thanksgiving Musings

Yes - this was one of those once in a million weeks.

A short week at work and then off to go RVing for Thanksgiving.  This is the weekend all of the Texas clubs of the FCRV get together.  We share laugh, love and of course food.

We are a diverse bunch!  The oldest is in her mid 80's and the youngest is about 3.  Spend a little time with this group and you will definitely learn something!  We even had someone bring a pet racoon!  Imagine that - a pet racoon!

This has given me a chance to connect with friends far and near - to love on them a little and let them love on me some too.  That is one of the great things about this time of year, but something we should do more of every day of the year.

I miss the kids - all 4 of them.  That is part of the learning to let them go.  They are setting their own paths now.  2 are working and 2 are spending time with the other family.  Mike and I are spending time with his family this week.  We are also spending time with a group of people who are an extended family.  Many of the group have known each other for years - they have seen children grow up together, seen children of friends marry and have their own children.  They have also been there to weep with friends as a loved one has passed on.

Oh, to be thankful!  There is so much I am thankful for - not just this weekend, but every day of my life.  Share a little love with those in your life - be thankful for what you have and try not to worry too much about other things.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Love, forever and a day

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

'Tis the (Hurried, Rushed, Frantic) Season....

I'm sitting here listening to the singular sound of a train horn, thinking of all the things I need to do. 

Yes, 'tis the season'.  Where we are supposed to be spending time with family and friends - but we tend be hurried, rushed and frantic to get everything done.

Looked at my calendar and between now and New Years, there is something going on every week-end.  From an early Thanksgiving get together with family to Christmas Celebrations spread out over a week (or two).  Add to that your normal every day activities (work, cleaning house, exercise - if you can get it in) and you see the picture.

What happened to those years where you were able to sit and relax and visit?  When did we become a society of having to do everything - NOW.  I long for those days when we were able to take the time to reflect on this season - giving thanks for all we have, celebrating the season of our Lord's birth and looking forward to the new year and all that it promises.

The train has moved on and so must I.  Time to get ready and start the weekend activities. 

Love, Forever and a Day

p.s. - take some time for yourself because I certainly plan to find some time for me.


Silent Night, Holy Night
All is calm, All is bright........

Blue Skies and Gentle Breeze - Renewing of Heart and Soul

For those who don't know it - Mike and I are RVers. We have a small RV that we like to take out to get away from it all.  We belong to a camping club that tries to go out once a month to relax and renew.  This was the weekend.

We went to Coushatte RV in between Bellville and Sealy - not real sure which town it belongs to, because it is just about smack dab in the middle.

This was one of the perfect weekends - as Goldilocks would say - not too hot, not too cold, but just right.  A gentle breeze and blue skies.  We were able to sit outside and visit with the camping club and others who live at Coushatte.  The people at Coushatte are mostly retired folks.  Some are "snow birds" who live here for 6 months and up north for 6 months.  Some are permanent retirees at Coushatte and live either in their RVs or in mobile homes.  The nice thing about this is they care for each other - and look out for each other.

That is what brings me to the renewing of heart and soul. 

It is hard when a child grows up - and any parent who tells you otherwise is wrong in my opinion.  Not only do I have one son getting married - I have two getting married within 2 weeks of each other.  The young ladies they have chosen as their brides are good matches for them.  They love my sons and have their best interest at heart.

The renewing of my heart is learning to let go of them - to let them grow up and be the men they have been raised to be.  As a dear friend said - you've got to cut the apron strings.  It is hard, because you love them and as a parent, you absolutely know what is best for them.  This is where the people I visited with come in.  They care for each other, they love each other, they take care of each other - but they also know when to step back.  I am learning how to do that.

Now for the renewing of my soul - to learn to love and give my love unconditionally to Kara and KayDee.  To give to them that outpouring of love that I freely give to Brian and Aaron.  To let my soul open to the love these young men and women give to each other and by extension - me.

Blue skies from above with a gentle breeze that stirs your soul. 

Love, forever and a day



Have You Ever Had One of "THOSE DAYS"

Today was day my to have one of "THOSE DAYS".  Yes, I woke up in a bad mood and it continued from there.  It was like everything was foggy - where you can't get to the reason of what is causing everything

Didn't like the clothes in my closet - although I'm not sure why.  I definitely have enough for me and several other people - so I am blessed in that regard.

Walked out the front door and noticed the glass is cracked.  Irritating - not sure why, because the door is still standing to protect the house.  Also, as a dear friend reminded me - I have a house to go home to and there are 33 miners who have been away from home for 69 days.

Trashmen didn't pick up our trash, because a neighbor parked their car too close to the trash cans.  GRRRRR - this one I know why, but didn't like it just the same.

Pulled the trashcans back to the garage and tripped on a portion of the driveway that is broken.  Again irritating, but I have a driveway to put my car in.

After the "trip", found out a shoe was broken.  That was not a good thing either - but I still had more shoes I could wear.  I know there are people who don't.

and the list could go on............

So, I let several small things turn into big things - but didn't rely on the ONE big thing in my life.  Yes, that is right - God.  For each of the small things - he showed me why I should be thankful - I have clothes and shoes to wear, I have a household that creates trash to throw away, I have a driveway to place my car in - of which I have a car to drive.  And for the other things that I am letting bother me - I shouldn't.

So - to those of you who like me have one of "THOSE DAYS" - remember, there is someone bigger out there who can take your irritations and hurts and make them better.

I'm going to try to remember this - and if you were in the pathway of Hurricane Dawn today - I apologize.  God is showing me through my irritations that it is not that bad - I just need to remember what I have and what others may not have and be thankful.

Love, forever and a day

New Seasons, New Chapters, New Beginnings

I started writing because I wanted to capture the new season in my life. While thinking about that, I have realized that I am not the only one with a new beginning.

First - there is Stevi and Brandon, not to forget Gigi! Tomorrow begins a very exciting season in their lives. Stevi and Brandon, well actually Stevi, will give birth to their first child - Brazos. A most unique name for what I'm sure will be a most unique little boy. They begin the chapter of being new parents. I wish them love and blessing and little blue socks! Gigi, aka Gina, I can't forget you. I know you will love and hug and oooh and coo all over this little boy.

To Natalie and Meghan - who are in their junior year of high school. They are beginning to become independent young women. These two young ladies have been raised by Godly parents and exhibit that love that has been bestowed upon them.

To Natalie and Meghan's parents - you are beginning a season of letting go. Embrace it - love it - cherish it. Your daughters reflect the teachings and love you have given them. You are blessed!

To the Wild West Household (and extended family) - you are beginning a new life together. This is your time to love and be loved. Enjoy the promise that weddings bring - happily forever after.

To Danielle who is working hard at making us work hard! She keeps us moving and enjoying exercise (who would have thought that exercise is enjoyable?!). Her new business is succeeding and I wish her many years of success!

To Rick and Adam on their move west (go west young men, go west). While we hate to see you leave, family calls. Know that wherever you are, your BW3 buds are here for you. This season of your life will prove most interesting for you I'm sure. Explore and enjoy - and make sure you tell the world all about it!

There are many that I'm leaving out - these are just a few of those that are writing their own new chapters in life. Birth, Wedding, new business, growing up, moves. It is amazing what we do in our lives every day.

While thinking about the new chapters we begin - I realize that it is not just one that takes place, but multitudes of them every day, all day. While my new chapter is "The Boys" getting married - this is just a small part of it. I've grown more introspective, I've realized more and more how much God has directed and been a part of my life, I'm learning that it can't be done by just me and that prayers work wonders.

To all of you who have started that new season, that new chapter and new beginning - take if for all it is. Embrace the opportunities that come your way and let the Footsteps from above guide you.

Love, forever and a day

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up

And the future is unclear

I will be here

Just as sure as seasons were made for change

Our lifetimes were made for these years

So I will be here

"I Will Be Here" by Steven Curtis Chapman

Where Did The Title Come From?

Many years ago (actually almost 32), Mike and I heard or read something about if you sentence someone to prison for "Life and a Day", they could never get out, never get paroled.  This was many years before he was in law enforcement.

Well, we thought we would do a twist on that - Love, Forever and a Day.  Same basic meaning but with a good twist - love would win out.  We would love each other forever and never forsake each other.  We say this to each other daily, we let the boys know that we will love them forever and a day.  Now we are seeing this passed down to the next generation of Cross' - as the boys tell the girls this.

It is a small thing to do - to let the one you are with know you love them.  It is a big thing to do to let the one you are with know that you are in this no matter what happens.  Does this mean life has been all rosie and smooth sailing?  Not one bit.  Does this mean that we work with each other and try to figure it out?  Absolutely.

I have learned a lot over the years - that no matter what people tell you, love is not easy.  It is something you have to work at everyday of your life.  I have learned that you can love and not like - someone or something.  I have learned as a wife that having a husband you love is one of the best feelings in the world.  I have learned that as a mom you can love abundantly no matter what and you never run out of room - your heart just keeps opening up for more and more love - to give and share.

I want my boys and their future wives to know that love can be forever and a day.  You just have to take it a day at a time and figure out what works for you.

Love, 4-ever and a day

And I know there is nothing

That I would not do for you, forever will be true

And I know although times can be hard

We will see it through, I’m forever in love with you.

Where Do I Start

I've never blogged before - not even sure that this is being done the right way, but wanted to give it a shot as I'm entering a new phase in my life.

Where do I begin? It's been 30 years since I married the love of my life (corny I know, but it is true). In the beginning years, there were the normal ups and downs, but the ups prevailed. We had decided when we were discussing marriage that we didn't want to have children until we had been married for 5 years - and we waited.

We were almost there - 4 years and 10 months - give or take a few days and we had our oldest son - Michael Aaron. All 9lbs, 10oz and 23 1/2 inches of him, with a full head of hair arrived 13 days before Christmas. Talk about a Christmas present! We learned, we laughed, we oood and awed over him. He was a peaceful baby - very laid back.

Speed forward to when he is 5 months old and we found out we were pregnant again. Suprise? Shock? Awe? Yes to all of these emotions and more. Brian Adam was born 4 days before Valentines day - just a meer 2 months after his brother turned 1. Talk about your busy household! Brian was and is to this day very different than his brother. A small baby compared to Aaron - just 6lbs 12oz and only 21 1/2 inches. He had little hair - and it was very blonde - you could hardly see it.

This began the next chapter in our lives - CHILDREN and FAMILY! We received the requisite "help" from family and friends - "you should do this, you should do that, babies don't like this, don't feed him that" - all given in love. And so life went on.

Until April 4, 1986 that is. Aaron came down with haemopholis influenza type B - now known by it's given name of HIB. We didn't know if he would live or die - and off he went to Texas Children's Hospital. His physician told us that he did not know if Aaron would make the trip down there.

Mike went with Aaron and I went to notify the people who needed to be notified - grandparents and family, neighbors (since their kids had been exposed), the daycare and friends. Aaron did make the trip and spent 3 days in Pedi ICU and an additional 10 days at Texas Childrens. All I can say is that he survived the ordeal in true Aaron fashion - beating the odds and showing everyone who he was.

Brian was small enough that he didn't know what was happening - but it was a lot for an 8 week old. His grandparents took care of him - along with some good friends - so I could send time at Texas Childrens. Talk about a mother's heart - it was truly torn. I needed to be with my oldest and I wanted to be with my youngest. How do you do it? You don't ask, you just do what you can and make it work.

Life progresses - the boys lead normal lives - making friends, playing sports, attending church and doing what boys do.

The people they meet and that influence their lives have been amazing. From "other mothers" (you know who you are and I want to thank you for the love you gave your "other sons"), to Godly influences in the guise of teachers, parents, coaches and more, to friends who have meant so much to them. "The Boys" as I collectively call them have grown up - where has the time gone! I just hope that their father and I have done the right things and have put life in perspective for them.

School, school and more school has gone by. They have chosen their life plan. Aaron has decided to become a deputy with the Sherriffs Department, Brian has decided to become an inspector/investigator with the Fire Marshalls office. While mom has worried about what they have chosen to do - they have chosen what is best for them.

They work, they play (yes, even big boys play) and they plan - for their future. Where will they go? What will they do? Will they marry? Will they have children?

All I can say is that I love them more than love itself and that their life will be amazing. They have recently entered into a new phase of life as well and I am in it with them. Both boys are engaged - and as with their birth, so the engagement - just a few months apart. What are their fiance's like - just like them, full of life, energy, love and potential.

Where am I in this? Learning to sit back - sometimes not so patiently - and let them discover all that is out there for all of them. Now that they are engaged adults, does this stop me from caring for them? Not for a lickety split second - in fact, I have found that I care even more, love even more because of the two wonderful women they have found.

For my boys - and now my girls
Love forever and a day