Oberservations of Work Life (Yes, the Name Fits!)

As I start writing this - I have no title.  It is strictly observations of work life - and maybe that will be the name.

I have recently become a manager of a group of people.  It has been a fun ride to get where I am and as I have told others it fits like an old sweater - comfortable and what I thought it would be.  It is also what I had forgotten about managing people.

I have a colleague (yes, the new word for co-worker), who comes across as negative.  There have been things in her life that have affected her outlook on work.  I would like to think after a shaky start, we have found a common ground.  I found something she enjoys doing - mentoring others - and she is good at it!

I have another colleague who is young and ambitious.  She has her eye on the goal and is working to get there.  She has been looked upon by a former manager as someone to go to.  I think she is also someone to go to - but realize I need to reign her in some.

There are other colleagues - high performers, low performers, some there to just do their job and go home at the end of the day and some who are thirsty for knowledge.

I hope to make an impact in all of their lives - just as former managers did in mine.  It is with their help, prodding and yes, some pushing that I am where I am today.  I try to look for the good in each person, I try to make a difference in their lives and I realize that some colleagues will not get what I am trying to do.

I have those that I look up to and that I have kept in my life - either in person or through the wonders of  Facebook - that keep me grounded and true to myself.  By staying true to myself, I hope to be that same beacon for others.

Love,
Forever and a Day

What Greater Calling

is there than being a mom?

I have heard much through the years that a woman who has children has a calling from God to stay at home and raise her children.  This has caused not only joy, but heart-ache at times due to people having preconceived notions about what a mom should do and be.

Aaron & Brian Cross - April 2011

While I applaud those who follow that calling - what about those moms who feel a calling to not only raise their children, but to also work, either full time, part time or anytime?

I am one of those moms who felt she needed, no, make that had to, work.  I found I was a much more productive person.  I don't feel that I short-changed my children or my husband.  My children are productive members of society.  They were raised in church and believe that God is, well, God.  They have learned to be self-sufficient and to rely on others if needed.  They knew they were loved and always will be loved.  They have seen what it is like to balance home life and work - sometimes work took precedence over my time, but never over my love for them.

I have found through the years that while I am working I keep my sanity.  I have always been busy in life - in school I was involved in lots of different things, all while working almost 40 hours a week.  When I graduated, I worked a full time job and a part time job (or two) at a time.  When Mike and I married, he was my life - but I still worked a full time job and a part time job.

When the boys were born, I worked a full time job and make sure the boys were loved and involved.  I did change from working in downtown Houston to working in Conroe - close to home and my sons.  I was involved in their lives, their school, their sports and everything else.  I had a school principal tell me that she wished parents were half as involved as I was.  Yes, my boys were and are my life - but I felt that they had more of me as a working mom than I would have been as a stay at home mom. 

Again, I applaud those women who do decide to stay at home, but please don't assume that those who work don't have a calling to do so as well.  Sometimes moms work out of necessity - but some also work because of their calling.  Either way, it doesn't mean we love our children any less than a stay at home mom - it just means that we show our love in a different way.

Love,
Forever and a Day

The Circle of Life

Yes, the circle of life continues.

KayDee and Aaron found out today that they are having a baby girl.  Baylee Rayne is due March 14, 2012.

We are excited, thrilled beyond belief, shocked and in awe.

Mostly though, we are happy that Aaron and KayDee found each other.  The love they have for each other and their family is immeasurable.  Now they will share this new love and life. 

For the time we have known her - KayDee has been full of life, laughter and love.  We can't wait for her to show this to Baylee.  We are sure that Baylee will be as full of life and love as her mom.

We know Aaron will have his work cut out for him.  He loves with all his heart.  Now we know that Baylee will have his heart (not that she doesn't already), he will want to protect her from all of the "bad things" in life.

They will both learn - just as all parents do - that this little life they are holding so dear to their heart - will teach them even more than what they can teach her.

Congrats to my daughter (in love) and son.  And welcome to Baylee Rayne.

Love,
Forever and a Day

See You At The Pole... Bringing Back Memories

Today was See You At The Pole at schools all across the country.  It brought back memories of when Aaron and Brian were younger and went to stand to show their faith.

Thinking about them being younger brought back other memories.

When they were babies and learning to sit up and turn over
When they were toddlers and learning to walk and talk
When they started elementary school
And went to intermediate
Then junior high
High school
and
Finally college and careers

The things they were involved in
The friends they made
The decisions for life
and the life they have
Chosen

My sons have grown up
They have become men
They have careers
They have wives
They have families

I cherish the memories that I have of them
I love that they will soon be making memories of their own

Love,
Forever and A Day

Exciting News

Yes - most all have heard, Aaron and KayDee are going to have a baby!

What does that mean?  I have the honor and privilege of becoming a grandmother.  As of this writing - I will become Mimi to either Michael Charles or BayLee Rayne.  The newest member of our family is due in March.

I wait in anticipation to meet the new one,
to tell him or her about Daddy
to see my son grow in this new role
to see my daughter (in love) share her love with him or her - because she has a lot of love to share

We are anticipating the arrival of our little grandbaby - and we can't wait to see what all life has to offer him or her.

Love,
Forever and a Day

A Breaking Heart

The title says it all.

I miss my youngest son very much.  I guess with all the busyness of life and his new family, he doesn't need us as much anymore.  There are other things that go with this - mostly from words that were said that can't be taken back.  The woman in Brian's life said some hurtful things, I said some hurtful things.  She being Brian's wife - he must stick by her.

I hope he keeps in touch with his brother and his other relatives.

I miss him
My heart is breaking
But I love him
Forever and a day

and Life Goes On...

As I have looked back at the past year - I realized how much my life has changed.  I have gained 2 daughters and my sons have begun their new lives as husbands. 

They are finding their lives are changing daily - becoming a family, learning about each other (as you only do when you marry) and plotting what they will do next.  Mike and I are finding that our lives are changing as well.  No longer are we "mom and dad" - but parents in law.  We are learning that when we offer suggestions, we must realize that they are just that.  The boys now have someone else to consult about the direction they take.  We are learning that they have other families and we must share them. 

While this blog started out as a way to chronicle the days coming up to their marriages, this blog will continue to chronicle the way life is changing - for me and Mike and for us as a whole.

Love,
Forever and a Day

All about Aaron

Several weeks ago - just before Brian married, I told you a little about him.  This time, it is all about Aaron.

What can I say - Mike and I waited almost 5 years to have our first child.  When we first decided to have children, we thought it would be easy.  Little did I know.  We had to have a doctor help us - and that she did!

We found out we were pregnant around Easter in 1984.  The due date was supposed to be Christmas 1984 - that's right, Christmas.  The pregnancy was not easy - think bloating, swollen feet and hands and smells that made me sick just thinking about them!  Aaron decided to come a little earlier than planned - again with the help of our doctor.  He arrived on December 12, 1984 at 10:20 p.m., weighed in at 9lbs and 10oz.  He was a whopping 22 1/2 inches long.

All of the pretty little - and I emphasize LITTLE - clothes I had bought and received didn't fit.  He didn't come home in a cute little newborn outfit, we had to find a shirt that normally fit a 9 month old for him to wear.

Life was good at the Cross home.  We took a trip the May after he was born to New Mexico.  He got to see Carlsbad Caverns sitting in a backpack his Papa and Dad were wearing.  He saw mountains and desert.

When he was 14 months old, he came down with haemophilious Influenza Type B - a bacterial form of meningitis now called HIB.  We were told that at the best, he would lose his hearing and be developmentally disabled - at worse, he would lose his life.  We spent 10 days at Texas Children's Hospital in Houston and have nothing but good things to say about them.  He lost no hearing - although his hearing is selective at times, and he is not developmentally disabled.  In fact, when he applied himself he was an A/B student.  Key word is applied.

Because of this, he and Brian were placed in a tracking group of children and siblings who had HIB.  This study was/is done by Baylor University.  They keep up with him to this day.

In school, he did fine - enjoyed the teachers and the students.  Had a few words of his own - like beatselt for seat belt and he would go and go until he just couldn't anymore.

In fifth grade, he wanted to try out for band at school.  We initially told him no.  Tears and arguments ensued.  We talked to the band teacher and he thought Aaron would be a good fit.  We relented.  We are glad we did as it seems he has a natural talent for musical instruments.  He started on the clarinet, progressed to the saxophone and ended up with the bari(tone) sax.  He can still play these - in addition to the piano.

He played football and baseball passionately.  He found in football a calling and pursued it.  He liked playing center (they don't have to run).  He would get so involved and forget to breathe at times the coaches would say "Breathe, Cross, Breathe!"  He played in Junior High for the Peet Cubs and at Conroe High for the Tigers.  He played varsity 3 years and loved every minute of it.  He was recruited by LSU and by Arkansas.  He was also involved in Robotics and band up to his senior year.  He learned the band music and helped out for the UIL contest.

Aaron decided that he wanted, had, to go out of state to college.  He had to get out of Conroe and Texas for reasons known only to him.  He went to Southwestern College for his freshman year.  Southwestern is a small private college in Kansas, in the middle of nowhere.  Mike and I made the trip for every home game - even though he was red-shirted and couldn't play.  He had shoulder surgery during spring break and decided he did not want to play football, so he came home to Sam Houston.  He has been on and off since then (but he PROMISED his Uncle Dan he WOULD finish).

Aaron worked with his dad for several summers as a shop hand.  He said he didn't like manual labor (imagine that) and wanted to go to work for the Sheriff's Department.  He started as a Reserve (all play, no pay) for a year and became a full time deputy almost a year later.  He asked to work in District 3 - the toughest district in Montgomery County.  He has not only done well, he has excelled.  He is also an FTO or field training officer and has taught in the Academy.

He has always been serious about what he does.

During this time, he met KayDee.  She was everything he said he would never do - she was younger than him, shorter than him and everything he needed.  She is a bundle of energy and life and she is just what he needs.

Remember to pray for your children and for their spouses - even if you don't know them now.

Mike and I have done this - we prayed for our boys and the choices they make in life.  We prayed for their spouses and that they are Godly and the one God has just for them.

To my son - and now his wife -
Love, Forever and a Day
Mama Cross

To My Youngest Son - Before the Wedding

It all began in 1985.... yes, when Brian was conceived.  We were surprised that we were pregnant so soon.  Aaron was only 5 months old.

We welcomed the challenge and worried as well.  Mike and I couldn't decide on a name.  I finally said - you choose - BUT - I want the middle name to begin with an "A" - and it needs to be a strong name.

Fast forward 9 months - to February 10, 1986.  Early appointment at the hospital for a scheduled c-section.  Brian was delivered - and when they showed him to me, I said "he looks like Yoda - all wrinkles and just a tuft of hair".  Everyone laughed at that.  He was 6 lbs, 12 oz and 19 1/2 inches long. 

He was a happy baby and did everything as soon as he could to keep up with his big brother.

He had his own language - he called garbage trucks "dump trashes" because that is what they did - they dumped trash.  He called helicopters "hepticollars".  There were other "Brian-isms" and there still are.  He picked on his dad when Mike said "cotton-picking" and other old fashioned terms.

Brian was involved in all kinds of things - from an early age.  He liked t-ball, soccer, running and playing.  He went to Mims Baptist Church for kindergarten.  He also attended "year-round school" and excelled.  While he enjoyed it - he could be "mischievous" as well (yes, he was often in trouble).  He enjoyed drawing and got me called to the principals office for it one day.  He saw some gang signs somewhere in Conroe and drew them on his book.  The principal called me to the office to find out what was going on.  We asked Brian and he said he saw them on a building and thought they were cool - so he copied them.  He didn't know what the big fuss was about.  Oh the innocence of young children.

He played football and baseball - all out.  He hurt his ankle and didn't tell the coach because he would not be able to play.  That hurt ankle was a growth plate fracture and earned him a cast.  He has hurt his knee a couple of times - both using a knee stabilizer and crutches.  Yes, he got around fast on those crutches.  There has been a hurt wrist, hurt ankle, cuts on the chin and forehead - a little bit of it all.

He played sports the way he looks at life - all out and when it is no longer fun, why do it.

His senior year - when his high school played a rival high school - he wore the rival high school t-shirt and a kilt (they were the "Highlanders").  He went right up to the principal and shook the his hand - while calling him by his first name.

He was a "band-aid" for his brother's school band.  He was in technology and he was a local and State representative.  He took German for 3 years and was the treasurer.  He did what he wanted, when he wanted and excelled at it all.

He dated several girls - and cared for them deeply.  He became involved with their families and keeps in touch with them today.

He went to fire-school and learned to be a fireman, he took an EMT class and did amazing things, he went to peace officer school and excelled there as well.  He worked for Aramark and his Uncle in Dallas while learning how to be a fire inspector/investigator.

He met the young woman he wants to marry - and as with all things Brian did it his way and has found a family in her family.  He works for the Montgomery County Fire Marshall's and is a senior inspector/investigator.

He asked one day if he was an "accident" - and I had to say - "you were not an accident, but a surprise.  An accident you do not ever want, a surprise is something you don't know you wanted until you have it".  That is my son - a surprise and full of life.
Brian - I love you forever and a day,
Mom

Sunday, April 10, 2011

This is not my normal story.  This is written with love and tears.
This is about someone gone too soon.

A young lady that we have known ended her life this day.  For whatever reasons that are known only to her, she felt she could no longer go on.  She leaves behind her mother, father, step-mother, step-father, siblings and her son.  She was impulsive, full of laughter, fought for what she thought was hers and loved fiercely. 

She will be missed - by those whose life she touched, including ours.

Take a moment, hug the one you love tightly.  Tell those in your life what they mean to you - because you never know what the moment may mean.

To Aaron and Brian, KayDee and Kara - know that you are loved, not only by the person you have chosen as your future spouse, but by Mike and I as well.  We love you all - through thick and thin.  We are family. 

Love, forever and a day

Randomness - Here, There and Yon

Tonight is just a night filled with random thoughts.  There are many things going through my mind - and I'm not sure where this will take me.

Over the last 3 weekends we have been doing a major spring cleaning.  You know, one of those where you move everything, take stuff down, clear things out and put it all back together again.  Mike and I decided to spread it out so it was not so overwhelming - and it has been easier to have someone help with the process.  One more weekend to go on the schedule and the house will be spic and span.

Why are we doing this?  One reason is the house just needs it.  Over the last 2 years, both boys have moved out, we have remodeled and painted the bedrooms, converted one to an office, remodeled the bathroom, painted the hallway's and bought new furniture (yes, this is what happens when you have an empty nest!).  So, while the house has been updated, it also needed a good cleaning and that we have done!  The other reason is that I am hosting a wedding shower for both girls - and of course, I want to make a good impression on the mothers of the brides.  A little vain?  A little insecure?  Maybe a little of both.

The weather has been beautiful - and for the first day of spring, we could not have asked for better.  After cleaning yesterday, we took today easy.  We returned things that needed returning, looked at furniture, shopped, went out to eat and lastly - spent some very, very relaxing time on the back deck listening to the birds sing as the sun went down.

Mike and I are learning how to let go - although, when we see things that "we could do better or help with" we still have a hard time letting the kids learn it for themselves.  I guess that is part of being a parent.  Also coming with that territory is learning that the kids now have other lives and they don't always remember to stop in and say hello.  I have faith - they will remember.

Work is work.  There is so much that I want to do.  Now that I know the direction I should take - I want it NOW - not in a few weeks, months or years, but NOW!  I know that I will get there - just have to learn patience and wait for the right time.

Friends - what can I say.  I have an amazing support group at work and away.  I have a close friend who, no matter what is going on in my life or hers, is there for the other.  I have friends I have known for 30 plus years and when I talk to them - if it has been 1 day, 1 week or 1 year since we last spoke - it feels as if it was just moments ago.  I have friends who live in other cities - but I count them as dear friends and wouldn't do without them

Faith - it is there.  I believe fully in God and His Son as our Saviour.  Do I attend church - not so much.  I am one of the "CEO's" - Christmas and Easter Only - kind of folks.  I know I am missing the teachings, but I am disillusioned at the church I call home.  I follow other preachers and what they are teaching, but I miss the morning times on Sunday.  One day - I will find that home again - but until then, I study the Bible, read devotions and follow the preachers that I know and respect.  One thing is certain, God has surrounded both my husband and I with Godly people, and we treasure each and everyone of them - and pray for them consistently.

Young friends - those kids who are friends of the boys who have grown up themselves.  What would I do without you?  You keep me young, you give me strength and most of all, you have chosen to allow me into your lives.  Thank you for that - it means a lot to me.

As I said - this is bunch of random thoughts - but now that I reread it, I find it is about being thankful.  Thankful for those in my life - young, old, here or there.  Thankful for a husband who knows that I need his strength and direction and above all, thankful for a God who loves me - no matter what I do or how I feel.

Love, forever and a day......

Where It All Began

It began with a friend at work.  She wanted me to come visit her church - to become involved.  After a lot of persuading on her part, I made the decision to attend Sunday School and Church and then go to a College and Career Chili Supper & Bible Study that night.  I thought that if I went I would have satisfied her and then would not have to attend any more.  That if I did this - I could go on living my life the way I had been.  I could not have been more wrong!  The day was Sunday, February 16, 1979.

Susan wanted me to meet a friend of hers - Mike.  She had an idea that we would get along.  The only thing was he had broken up with a long time girlfriend a while before and didn't really want to get "involved".  It is amazing what God can do in situations like this!

As Susan and I left that night, Mike and his friend Curtis walked outside.  We joked, we laughed and we made a "date" - all in fun or so I thought.  I found out that it was not a joke  that he really wanted to go out to dinner.  I wouldn't go alone - so Susan and Mike's friend went also.

Where did we go.....  Steak and Ale, probably the "fanciest place" we knew of in that day.  I couldn't go until I got off from my part time job.  Yes, I worked full time and held a part time job as well.  Was and still am a workaholic. 

Off to Steak and Ale at 9:00 at night.  We are seated, we order and what happens.............

the whole baked potato lands in my lap.

I thought the date was over before it began - but my friend Susan helped me laugh it off.

After dinner - back to Susan's parent's house we go.  We watched movies until midnight and I said I needed to go home.  Mike took me home and we sat in front of my house talking for hours....  Susan later said she didn't think Mike would ever get back to get Curtis.

After that we dated
We wished
We planned

and Mike asks me to marry him in August of 1979.

I had planned a dinner for Mike at a restaraunt he loves - Old San Francisco Steak House.  We enjoyed our dinner and went back to his parents afterwards.  While watching TV - he asked me to do him a favor.  Yes, he asked me to marry him.  I was suprised, because even though we had talked about it - I didn't know it was going to happen then.  I called him a "rat-sized king fink" - I guess I was a little rattled - and said yes!

Fast forward to February 16, 1980 - one year to the day later - we marry. 

During the last 31 years (32 if you count the year we dated) - we laugh, we cry, we make a life.  We have 2 wonderful sons - who are the joy of our lives.  We work at different places, we are involved in the community.  Most importantly - we have each other.

It has been an amazing time - and now the time belongs to our sons.  Both are marrying special women this spring.  My prayer for them is that they realize all that God has given them and that with Him, they can make it.

That my friends, is where it all began.  11,323 days shared and more to come.

Love, forever and a day

A Life Filled with Love and Laughter

This weekend we went to visit my brother & sister in law and family.  We planned this trip to see my niece play in a basketball tournament.

After the tournament (in which she played very well), we went and had lunch, buffet-style.  Of course we ate too much, but we had fun.  We told stories, laughed a lot and shared our love with each other. 

We talked about the trip that is planned for Italy, Turkey, Greece and Croatia for my son and his bride to be, we talked about the trip to Switzerland my niece and sister in law have planned and we talked about the trip to Colorado my brother in law plans to take.

We discussed weddings - both of them.  The ladies went and had pedicures, relaxed and visted.  We also had some adventures (thanks Brenda!) on the way back from shopping.  But mostly we laughed and loved on each other.

Family-time - don't forget to have it.  Relish it and enjoy each other.  Love each other and make sure you say it every day.

Love to my family,
Love to my friends,

Love, forever and a day

Where Has The Love Gone?

I was reading this morning about the shooting in Arizona.  The tragedy that took lives and injured more - not only physically, but mentally and spiritually.

A young girl lost her life.  A husband lost his protecting his wife.  A federal judge - who was respected by many - lost his life.  Many people were affected - either during or after what happened.  And lets not forget the parents of the young man at the center of it all.  By all accounts - they did not see that their son was bent on doing what he did.

This brings me to my point.  We need to stay in touch with our children, our families, our community and our selves. 

Where are you in the above?  Do you speak to your children often?  Do you know what is going on in their lives and what they are excited about doing?  When is the last time you hugged someone in your family or asked how they are doing?  Have you given back to your community lately?  AND what is going on in your life?

Personally - I try to talk to my kids at least once a week.  We don't always connect with each other - but I try.  It may just be me sending a text - LY4E&AD - mom speak for love you forever and a day.  Do I know what they are excited about - I try to know.  Right now - it is planning their weddings.  Am I involved in that - to the extent they want me to be involved.  Hugging or keeping in touch with family?  Not so good about that, I must say.  Through the advent of Facebook, I am able to keep in touch with my sister, my nieces, my brother and sister in laws -a little better than before.  My community?  I try to donate to causes I feel are worthy - my church, the animal shelter, breast cancer awareness, local politics and other causes that are important to me.  I donate not just money, but time as I can.

Take a moment out of your day - hug someone close to you, tell someone how much they mean to you and find out what is going on.  Search your heart and soul and determine if you are connected.

And don't forget, tell your loved ones that you love them - no matter what.

Love,
Forever and a Day